When Mambo’s father passed away, he took advantage of a book which provided him with a lot of information on how to cope with the passing of a loved one.
Whenever we are in our life, memory helps us see where we’ve been. We can look back on great moments as well as hard. We can think about life changing events, share influences and patterns. Memory helps us pull the parts of our life together and claim who we are. So we review our history and our memories in order to strengthen ourselves for whatever lies ahead.
Each one of us will remember different things or value different times of our lives. Remember together will expand our store of memories and draw us closer together. Even if the person we’re caring for isn’t able to communicate, we can sitting his or her presence and talk about memories. Our loved one leaves behind legacy of memories that provides a source of continuing access to his or her presence, influence, stretch, guidance and love.
As long as our loved one is still with us, we can use our time together to make mew memories. Whatever we experience, whatever albums we look at, foods we book music we listen to, movies we watch, we’ll be making new memories of our time together in this journey.
“Death is not a medical event. Death is a spiritual event”. Even if we haven’t claimed religious beliefs or adopted spiritual practices, we experience a natural capacity for hope and reflection about what really matters, especially when death draws near.
When we anticipate separation from loved ones, we naturally feel an increased desire to interact with them and make every moment count. But we may find, some time before death actually comes, that our loved one begins to distance himself or herself from us. This process can occur gradually and in different ways.
As your loved one declines, he or she may become confused, mixing up details about who was here or when something happened. They may become confused about where they are or who others are. We recommend that if your loved one is pleasantly confused, don’t try to bring them pack into reality. Encourage him or her to speak slowly. If they are frightened, give gentle reassurance and tell them they are OK. Use your voice, eye contact and touch to maintain a supportive connection.
Caring for someone facing death matters so much to those who love him or her that the way we go through it together may color our future interactions with one another. Perhaps the best gift we can offer our loved one is to let him or her see that we’re pulling together through this experience.